#sh: cecilia

[honeyjars-sims]

2.3 Just Go For It

Cece: This was a nice idea. It’s so peaceful out here.

Ben: I figured it would be a nice change of pace for our first official date since we’re usually hanging out somewhere loud and crowded.

Cece: Yeah, it’s nice that we’ve had more chances to have actual conversations lately. I feel like there’s still so much we don’t know about each other.

Ben: That’s true. And whenever I do learn something new about you, it always manages to surprise me.

Cece: Really? Why’s that?

Ben: Well, you seem to have these really particular ideas about how self-conscious and cautious you are, but when it comes down to it, you never back down from a challenge.

Cece: Hmm, it’s weird, but I never really saw myself as shy when I was a kid. I loved being on stage and I never really cared what other people thought about me. For the most part, both of those things are still true. But I actually feel more comfortable being in front of a large crowd behind a piano than I do when I’m singing a song I wrote in front of a few people.

Ben: Yeah, it’s more intimate. I get it. Like, I’m a pretty personable guy and I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone, but talking one on one with someone about my feelings hasn’t always been easy.

Cece: Exactly! I’m not a very emotional person, but I’m not cold and unfeeling, either. But sharing my vulnerabilities with someone seems really intimidating.

Ben: Oh, totally! But y'know, nothing else beats that moment when you open up to someone and they accept you, flaws and all.

Cece: I think I just got it in my head that I need to be the strong one. My siblings have been through so much, and they needed a lot of extra support from our dads. My brother in particular had a really hard time, so I didn’t want to burden our parents with my feelings.

Ben: What about your mom? Could you talk to her?

Cece: My mom and stepmom are great, but they keep themselves busy. I think I get my need for order from my mom and my expressive side from my dad. The thing is, any of my parents would have been there for me. I just hold myself up to a really high standard.

Ben: I can see that. You do put a lot of pressure on yourself. But you’re also creative and passionate. I’m really looking forward to seeing what you’re capable of when you really let go.

Cece: Hmm, and you think you’ll be around to see that?

Ben: I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Well, maybe on tour once I make it big. But in that case, you’d probably be with me.

Cece: That’s quite an assumption!

Ben: What, can’t you see us traveling the world with our band? Selling out arenas, hearing the crowd singing along…

Cece: Don’t get too ahead of yourself. We haven’t even kissed yet.

Ben: Is that a hint? You know, if you want something, Cecelia, you should just go for–

[Cece grabs Ben and kisses him] 

Cece: How’s that? 

Ben: Perfect. See, you’re full of surprises.

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[ughitsniya]

[livefastnbebeautiful]

[getfreeviolet]

[birdsribcage]

[weird0bambi]

they hate when you serve depressed forgotten teenage younger sister who has never felt loved and is now searching for confort wherever she can find it ˚.⋆ ֶָ֢౨ৎ

[xoxohannas-world]

poor little girl, when did you realize the world was cruel? was it when you understood that you must suffer one way or another—either by others' hands or by your own

[bunnieinterrupted444]

i am finally bleeding again

new blades are the best

[archived-diegesis]

A night of stories

Akivili was said to be the aeon closet to humanity was she the closet because she was once human or is it due to how she's willing to walk among humans ?

" Life is so much more then running, its about living and while my heart longs for the stars i will always find a way back to this....to the simple things that life brings. So As long as you follow my path worry not for I will do my best to guide you. Come enjoy some snacks with me tell me about all you have seen. "

[gorgeous-gorgeous-girlz]

why?

why am i like this

why, Like a flower in the spring feeling the urge to bloom while knowing my petals and confidence will shrivel and die and fall in the seasons to come.

i want to be confident in the face of a storm but instead i cower...

at the wind and the why, I cry

i fall over deprived of sunlight and fight and the decision-making skills i had not long ago

i grip the cracks as to not slip through, I stab the backs of the people i love most

and finally my stem will die.

<3 carmen

[honeyjars-sims]

1.37 Mutual Understanding

[It's morning and Cece groggily makes her way to the living room, yawning]

Johnny: Good morning!

Cece: AHHH! You scared the shit out of me! I thought I just heard Lexie leave?

Johnny: She did. She got up early to run some errands before class and she said I could stay a little longer if I wanted.

Cece: Wait, you slept here last night? I didn’t know.

Johnny: Yeah, not on purpose though. I dozed off and she didn’t want to wake me since I was sleeping so well. 

Cece: Hey, I’m your sister, not your mom. You don’t have to make up an excuse for why you slept here. You’re an adult, you’re allowed to sleep with your girlfriend. Just as long as I don’t have to see or hear it.

Johnny: I know, that’s really what happened, though. We haven’t even done anything yet.

Cece: Really? I’m surprised with how much time you’ve been spending with each other.

Johnny: I guess I’m just waiting for the right moment.

Cece: Aw, that’s kinda sweet. Especially for an 18-year-old guy. 

Johnny: Well, I really like her so I don’t want to mess anything up. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m a little nervous about it.

Cece: Oh? Have you, like, done it before?

Johnny: Yeah…I mean, a few times, but I'm not exactly experienced. I've only been with a couple of girls. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you about this. You’re not going to run your mouth to Lexie, are you?

Cece: No, I won’t say anything, I promise. I learned my lesson from last time. I’m glad you’re talking to me about it, though, because I can relate to being inexperienced. I’m actually demisexual myself.

Johnny: I didn't know that, but I guess I don't really make a habit out of asking about your sex life.

Cece: Yeah, it's kind of awkward talking to you about it, but really, there's nothing for either of us to be ashamed of. Everyone should be able to set their own boundaries when it comes to sex. Do you think it's just nerves, or is there more to it?

Johnny: I don't know. I definitely want to take things to the next level with Lexie at some point, but it's not always easy for me to put myself out there like that. I know people think teenage guys are horny 24/7, but I think I really have to trust someone first.

Cece: Yeah, same. Unfortunately I've had more than a few guys give me a hard time about it. It would probably be a good idea to talk to Lexie about how you’re feeling though. Who knows, maybe she’s nervous, too.

Johnny: I guess you’re right. I’ll bring it up next time I see her. I'm sorry you've run into so many assholes. So what’s up with that guy you’ve been hanging out with? Do you have feelings for him?

Cece: Ben? I don’t really know. I enjoy spending time with him and we have things in common. I guess I’m keeping an open mind about it. I just don't want to get disappointed again. 

Johnny: It’s nice that you found someone new to hang out with regardless. You seem pretty happy. Wait…did we just have a moment of mutual understanding?

Cece: I guess so! Maybe we aren’t that different after all.

Johnny: I knew my charm would rub off on you eventually.

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[ughitsniya]

I feel so guilty about everything all the time.

[cherry-babieee]

TW: mental health issues; S.H; death; S.I

I'm not saying this to be cute and melancholic and live the virgin suicide, girl interrupted coquette fantasy.

I'm being completely serious, but I just need to say it to someone other than my family who just freak out on me and walk away bc it's too hard to face.

Whenever I try to talk to them about how I'm feeling, I just get told that if I kill myself, they will never forgive me.... it's like they think that is going to help and not just push me further away.

I go through fits and stages, and even though I'm taking my meds and have been going to therapy, I still feel numb. I still want to hurt myself. I still want to die.

Just when I think I'm starting to get my life together, it creeps into the edges of my brain and just pulls me back into the dark. And I'm almost comfortable there, I don't want to be, and I know I shouldn't be, but it's so familiar that I don't want to fight it.

So I lie in my bed with tears streaming down my cheeks for no reason, and I just have to wait until it all stops.

[bambiinthestars]

[birdsribcage]

I want to cry one of those deep sobs that makes my chest hurt but I just don't have the energy

[weird0bambi]

vent !!!! im actually so ????? ugh idk my mom kinda discovered that i cut so shes with all that shitty talk of "never do this again!!" but is only making me worse😽😽 i wanna relapse so bad ! like i just wanted to cut idc but how will i explain it to her?! like man js let me do my thing